Since my last post I have been thinking a bit more about the issue of identity and masks that we wear.
The idea of havin a blog is strange to me and probably to others also. For me it has always been a kind of safe haven, a place where I can voice my private thoughts and opinions for the whole world to read and judge. For some reason we will say things in blog that we won't even say in the company of friends or family. This is something I am used to in that most of the songs I write are quite personal yet are encrypted in such a way that it may be slightly ambiguous, as in the case of many art forms. But the blog is bold and brash and blatant, written without thought or concern, the deepest of feelings poured out so shamelessly that we don't give the consequences a second thought. Only once have I been burnt by the blog.
When I was at university, one week I received a particularly harsh critique of a short story I had written from a tutor. I was annoyed and vented this via my blog, critiquing her work and teaching style against a colleague of hers who was my personal tutor who I greatly respect. Now, the problem with having tutors who are published, award winning writers is that people they know find interest in googling their names to see what fun things have been written about them. And on one occasion my 'article' was found and forwarded to said personal tutor who, at my next one to one, advised that this article had been found and asked if I would kindly remove it just to make sure that ite didn't find it's way into the hand of the nasty tutor. Needles to say I was horrified and deeply embarrased, although once I had graduated my personal tutor confessed that he agreed with me that the other tutor was indeed shit as I had pointed out.
I digress, the point is that I still kept blogging despite causing the trouble, all be it a little more discreetly. But why? I don't know. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Again, I don't know. Its 2:15 am and I can't fully think anymore.
Discuss though and I shall respond shortly! x
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